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Is this dude for real?

Ahhh, its good to be back my carnivorous critters. I just got back from Guam. I spent the last two weeks drinking yama from the shells of crabs, overlooking dolphins playing grab-ass with each other on reefs of coral. I landed today and realized something felt different. Something was eerily wrong. Yet it felt familiar. It was weird, I just couldn't put my half frozen from pina colodas, finger on it.
Then I realized, Brett Favre must have retired...again. Then I realized why I was so worked up. I hate saying goodbye...again. This reminds me of a story that an old wise man who lived in a cave twenty miles south of Cambodia knitting scarves and hats for the locals, once told me. He talked of a boy who always cried wolf, and eventually no one believed anything he said. Is this the case?
I think not. I do believe, all joking aside, he's done. And that's fine by me. Montana ended his career with Kansas City, Micheal Jordan with the Wizards, and for those of you who remember when Philly had a decent quarterback, Cunningham with the Vikings. They all do it.
But, does that mean the the Jets are merely the Chiefs, Wizards or Vikings? Cheifs...Wizards...no. Vikings? I'd take it.
So long Brett. I'm sure that after your Oscar worthy performance in "There's Something about Mary", and those Emmy nominated performances for Wrangler jeans, you won't have a problem paying the bills after the game of football has chewed you up and regurgitated you to its young like a wounded mother falcon whose been fighting off poachers and male eagles looking for a piece of those tail feathers.
But let us give credit where credit is deserved, because lets be honest, real recognizes real. Brett, you were amazing. You have almost all the records a quarterback can hold. You have a Super Bowl win, and you are a true iron man in probably the most brutal sport in the world, besides curling.
So where does this leave the Jets?
Well, I hate to say it but, I can see the Jets moving up in the draft to pick up some star, heavily sought after, blockbuster quarterback...but since there isn't one we'll settle for Mark Sanchez. I know, I know, he's from USC, he worked under "Pistol"Pete Carroll, but I don't care. He is no Carson Palmer, or Matt Lienart. Pete didn't want him to go into the draft, not because he wanted him to stay, but because he knew Mark still isn't ready. But given the opportunity the Jets will take him, that's just what they do. Mark Sanchez reminds me of a tag-a-long kid in high school, that thought he was cool because of who he hung out with. When really... he was just lucky the rest of the school didn't make him hang with the boogie eating,I'm-scared-to-talk-to-girls, band geeks, where he belongs. Mark Sanchez should be happy he even played at USC. Hop in your Honda Civic with ten buddies, head on over to Taco Colados and spend the ten bucks you made on selling candles. I don't think they should take him. But, mark my word they will.
Watch for the rolling train and listen for the buffalo...for they carry the truth.

-D.H. Bradway


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